The C-Pap, My Secret Weapon

Nowadays I often get the question of how I feel....do you feel fabulous? do you feel so much better? The truth is that I do, but I think the weight loss is only part of that. The weight loss is great, the change in insulin response is amazing, and the difference made by my sleep changes is downright mind-blowing. 

Let me start by saying that I've always been a bad sleeper. When I was young, I was a sleepwalker. My parents would find me doing all kinds of strange things in the night, including once giving the dog a bath. In continued into college and my college roommates have a couple of good stories too.

Eventually that calmed down, but I was still just a crappy sleeper. After babies I just hardly slept at all, even when they would sleep for 12 hours. I took every over the counter sleep med (but was always afraid of things like Ambien) and eventually resigned myself to the idea that I was forever sleep cursed. And life went on.

When I was getting ready for bariatric surgery, I was required to do a sleep study because I snored. It's a very common pre-requisite to surgery.  I did not really want to do it and did not really think it would yield much information.

Boy was I wrong. 

The study showed that not only did I have obstructive sleep apnea, but an acute case of it. Given my age and weight at the time, the sleep doc said he was 'very concerned' for my future health. He said that if I left things alone, I might suffer from an apnea-related stroke 10 years from now.

The readings from the study said that on average, I stopped breathing 24 times per hour. Also my oxygen intake was hanging out at around 70% for the entire time I was in deep sleep. I never truly fell into REM sleep. Ever.

So about a year ago, I met my new bestest friend....my C-pap machine.

All this guy basically does is force air down my wind pipe while I'm sleeping, with quite a notable amount of pressure. Like a blow dryer up my nose (minus the heat of course).

The sleep doc (and my Dad who also has one of these) told me how awesome the difference would be, but I'm not sure I really grasped it until months later.

I've hesitated writing this post because I was afraid I couldn't quite vocalize the awesome difference that this machine has made for me. It is like God has given me the most amazing gift and a light switch has been flipped in my brain. My body is different, my brain is different, my personality is different, my goals are different. I woke up.

And all of this happen before I ever had bariatric surgery. It happened when I got my machine.

Now, my understanding from the sleep doc is that weight does not cause sleep apnea, it just greatly exaggerates it. He made that point very clear. He said I may eventually be able to sleep without the machine someday, and I may not.

And sometimes when I tell people that I get a bit of sympathy from them, like they are sorry that I have to put on an elephant mask every night. That's when I know that they have never experienced that level of supreme physical and mental fatigue that I have. I would do anything, wear anything, take anything I needed to to feel this good.

Sleep, real deep sleep....the most magical medicine of all, has been evading me my whole life. And now I feel blessed, beyond measure, for this silly looking blow dryer up my nose.

My life has changed.

Las Vegas Freedom

Last weekend the hubs and I went on a four day trip to Vegas to catch up with some old friends who were there to renew their wedding vows with Elvis. It was a great weekend. We saw a show, gambled a little bit, laughed our butts off at the Elvis wedding chapel, reconnected with our old friends, drank and ATE.


And I have to say that the eating part was more enjoyable than I even imagined. This is the first time in a long time that I've gone out on this kind of a trip without a list of food restrictions, without blood sugar swings, without guilt about being so fat and without fear of gaining weight.

I just ate my portion of what I enjoyed, and enjoyed it.

It was a freeing feeling, one I haven't felt in a very very long time. When temptation came I didn't hold back. One day I had 8oz of truffle fries for lunch. One day I ate two macaroons from the Thomas Kellar bakery. I had wine. I had honey roasted peanuts. I had a pineapple ginger mojito. I had a biscuit with gravy.

And it was all great, and it was all very appropriately portioned and I came home down one pound.

My dieticians would say to proceed with that kind of eating with caution of course, because I will slow down my weight loss....but this was vacation right? And like most people on vacation I threw caution to the wind because I COULD and I WANTED to.

And the guilt is gone.

Bad Pictures Made Better

Do you ever randomly run across a really really bad picture of yourself that shocks you? I did yesterday. If this were real life and not the internet, I would tell you to brace yourself and then do a slow reveal so you could gasp outloud. Ready?.....

*GASP* 

Bad outfit, butchy haircut, bad lighting and oh yeah...a lot of extra weight. This is me at a Christmas event in 2010. I had a 3 year old and almost 2 year old at home. This was before my robo-foot ever existed, before I realized I had an acute case of sleep apnea that was keeping  me perpetually tired, before I had ever considered weight loss surgery. And before I ever realized that there would be a solution that offered me permanent hope for the future.

 

And this was me yesterday, down 69 lbs. Not skinny, no...but with much better overall health. Proof that not every bad picture has to stay that way.

6 Month Progress Pic

Jeremy took my picture on our video camera (because our actual camera remains very broken) and it turned out a little out of focus.

Rather than try again...what's better for improving crappy photo quality than an old timey filter? That's what made Instagram famous right?

 So enjoy, my retro lookin' 6 month picture.

After- October 2013 (6 months post op), 69 lbs lost

Before- March 2013

Aside From Weight- Some Other Changes

I realize that I haven't kept up with this blog they way that I had originally intended to, but I figure that's okay. The fact that I'm spending less time sitting at my computer is a good thing right?

I am currently at 6.5 months post-surgery and teetering right on 70lbs lost. Aside from looking better, I'm feeling more different all the time. I still attribute a large portion of my extra energy to my C-pap machine, which I promise to write about soon.

But aside from a smaller waist band, other things have happened to my body, like...

-- Breakouts on my skin have improved.

--I get tired much less easily. Again, I attribute a lot of this to my amazing c-pap machine. Aka, Mommy's best friend. 

--My long time battle with blood sugar swings seems to be mostly controlled. I suffer from very little low blood sugar feelings like I used to. 

--According to my dentist my gums are healthier, which I attribute to the lack of diet coke. 

--My menstrual cycles have been a little strange lately which lead me to go see my doc. She said that's a pretty normal thing for bariatric patients due to major hormonal shifts. Nothing that some bc pills can't regulate. 

--My back is vastly improved. I have an old back injury that I kind of thought would always be there. Maybe it will but carrying less weight has made a HUGE difference. And every time I see my chiro (every other week) he showers me with praise regarding how much I've helped my body. 

--Surprisingly, I'm even noticing better bladder control which is something I've had trouble with since my second child was born...the 10 pounder. I even had my bladder tested a couple of years ago, which was one of the crazier experiences of my adult life. I didn't realize that the weight was adding so much extra pressure.

--My hair is a little thinner, but nothing too crazy. Thankfully it was thick to begin with. The stranger thing is that it is laying straight more easily than it has in years, instead of being frizzy and curly mess. 

--I have hardly any swelling with my robo-foot. I don't whether to attribute that to the passage of time since foot surgery or less weight pressure on the hardware. Probably both! 

I wouldn't say that I'm the perfect picture of health, but I am much much closer to it than I was a year ago right now. And that makes everything I've gone through so so worth it.

Giving up the Bubbly

In addition to being six months post-surgery, I am also celebrating about 7 months soda free. There should be a support group for that kind of thing huh?

Hi my name is Laura and I'm addicted to Diet Coke. It's been 7 months since my last drink. 

Honestly, if I didn't HAVE to give it up I probably never would have. I tried in vain to quit many times. I would even quit for more than a month's time and go back to it. Even when I was under dietician care and they told me you MUST give it up, I didn't. Not until it was time for the pre-surgery detox diet and I had to.

It's liquid crack. 

The reason I can't have it now is simply because of carbonation. Carbonation is no longer my friend because it can cause my new stomach to expand. And after going through all of this, I simply don't want that to happen. So I don't ever eat more than my allotted volume (8oz) and I never drink the bubbly. One of the dieticians told me once that putting soda into your stomach is putting air into a balloon. And that visual scared me straight.

Luckily I've always been a fan of iced tea so I switched to these puppies for my portable cold caffeine beverage of choice.

This unsweetened iced tea is usually all the caffeine I consume in one day, with the occasional exception of a cup of coffee. I've never been as much of a huge coffee nut as my husband so if you see me going for a cup on a normal day...that's when you know that the tired has really hit the fan.

I do miss my old friend Diet Coke on rare occasion. At a local firehouse chicken dinner in the 100 degree heat, I literally salivated at my family drinking ice cold Dr. Pepper. But I lived. And when I see those occasional articles pass by on Facebook about how diet soda is bad for your kidneys, your teeth, you blood sugar or that aspartame will give you every cancer known to man...I'm a little bit glad to be forced away from it.

I'll miss you my old bubbly friend. We've been through so much together. But all bad things must eventually come to an end. I won't forget you.

6 Month Selfie

I'm coming up on the six month post surgery mark and am down around 65 lbs. I'm feeling good and rocking my first pair of non plus-sized jeans in a LONG time.

 Recently I went out painting with my old friend Erin. She's known me since 4th grade so she's seen me at EVERY size...pre-pubsecent to pregnant to plump. In that order, probably. Anyway we had been conversing all night through dinner and our art class and she finally blurted it out...you know I've been looking at you all night but I just now noticed you have a LOT LESS face! That made me laugh. Yes I do think I have considerably less face.

Dec. 2012

Sept. 2013

Also a little less hair, which can be a common bariatric side affect due to the striking cut in calories. But honestly my hair was so thick and curly that it doesn't bother me much. Plus my hair dresser gave me some biotin supplements to help keep it healthy and they seem to help. My dietician is also going to tell me to up my protein intake when I go in for the six month appointment, I'm calling it now. More protein, better hair!

Aside from hair I'm happy to have less of everything. Less face, less butt, less everything.